Today has been a productive day. I am so close to getting the edits done on the book I can almost taste it, and I managed to take my dog for a nice long run in the bush and check the rabbit snares, and plan some new posts, and plan a new drawing, as well as making some props for photo shoots that are coming up. I feel like this is the most productive day I’ve had in a really long time, honestly.
The book is finally coming into its own, and I couldn’t be happier about it. It has its own voice, and while reading through it tonight and finish more edits, I was actually happy with the story. The flow seems decent, and the climax actually had my heart racing this time around. I feel like it’s finally almost there, like with a few more little touches, it will be as good as I can possibly make it.
There are no words for how excited I’m feeling tonight. Hours and hours of today were spent polishing the book and trying to make it ready for publishing, and I am growing more and more excited by the day. I am still stressed, don’t get me wrong, but I am so excited I have quite literally squealed recently over things I’ve read in it and how much I love them. There, I said it. I love certain parts of this book. I love certain paragraphs, and I love sentences, and I love this story. Well… I have a love-hate relationship with the story. I love it, and I love that I’ve finally found it, but it hurts so much emotionally to read particular scenes (at least for me it’s hard) that I have to walk away and take a breather from the drama.
Oh yes, the drama is strong with this one. And the stubbornness of my MC is stronger. I’m actually scared some readers won’t like him, because he is so stubborn and in ways a bit of a pushover at times. I love him to death, and this series has to be written from his view, but I may also be very biased from spending so many years with him. He’s hard headed, opinionated, and cares way too much. And I’m afraid he may come off as being a bit whiny at times, even though he’s not. He just worries too much, I guess, and it seems I do as well.
As much as I love this book, and it is very much my baby, I am still scared of how it will be received, as any author is before publishing. I’ve said countless times before that I’m doing this for me, but I still want people to enjoy it if they do happen to read it. So I can’t promise you will love Julian the way I do, as that would be a high bar, but I hope you will at least like him if you pick up a copy at some point. Right now, that is actually my biggest worry. The story is exactly what I want it to be, and I am as true to the people in it as I can be. Not everyone can like the same characters, and some will relate to him more than others.
This is his story, and you will see him growing throughout, as he should. And you will (hopefully) learn to love him by the end of the book. Maybe I’m overreacting, but it’s something that’s been on my mind for a while now, and I just had to get it out. I may do another reading of the book and change a few more things (read: paragraphs and sentences) so that they show the stronger side of him a little better, just so I don’t risk him coming off as too weak.
Obviously it’s late, because I’ve rambled over 600 words already. Productive day is now over. Time to go play some video games with my boyfriend like the nerd I am before I crash for the night.